Post-Show Lowdown With Shandi Tackalier

 

The following is an op-ed piece by Shandi Tackalier and in no way represents the views of OperaFeHk.

 

“To my not-so-esteemed colleagues….

…I write these words as I lay sweaty and naked beside one of the most breathtakingly bearded beauties I’ve ever had the good fortune of soiling a mattress with. Since last Wednesday’s upset at the Revenge Of The Debris, I’ve replaced said soiled mattress with several bags of hate mail directing me to alternatively kill myself, kill  Justine and THEN kill myself, and pick up my inheritance from my royal relations in Nicaragua. Here are some excerpts:

“A horrifying melee of exhibitionism. I’ve never seen such a disgusting spectacle.” – Anonymous

“That creature really should see someone about its deformity.”  – 9 out of 10 doctors

“The musicians’ – such as they were – preoccupation with irrelevancies like mustard, martinis, and the fate of the unlovable hippo house was detrimental to the overall spirit of the evening.” – The Arkham Star

The mis-informed consensus seems to be that, somehow, the competition was rigged. Let me assure you that we had taken every possible precautionary oversight and any bias detected probably reflects the taint on the beholder’s own emotional jetsam.

The best advice I’ve gotten so far is that next time we must remember to kill the whole cast at the end of the show. After all, this IS Opera.

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